May 29, 2015.
The Eagles Square was filled up. Invited and uninvited guests had started arriving since the day before. The enthusiasm was electrifying. Facebook friends from all over Nigeria who had participated in the ‘struggle’ for CHANGE met each other for the first time. Haksuly Kayode and my friend, Haruna Ayobami Hammed hugged themselves. I saw Ibrahim Muhammad Abdulrahman going over to greet Funke Phillips; he had put his shoeshining business on hold just so he could attend the swearing in. Hammed asked if James Ogunjimi was around. Kayode laughed. “That one ke? Enemy of progress! We will ask them to pick him up soon. As for that Pa Ikhide R. Ikheloa, we will ask them to extradite him or bring him in inside crate like Umaru Dikko.”
It wasn’t easy; elections were shifted, the former ruling party, now the new opposition, rejected the use of the card reader, but the will of the people prevailed. General Buhari is set to be sworn in as the 15th Head of State. He had not yet arrived, but the crowd was already too much.
Everyone wanted to be there. Everyone wanted to catch a glimpse of the Nigerian Abraham Lincoln; he had contested in 2003, 2007, 2011 and failed, but 2015 had brought in the victory. His story will be included in current affairs and Social Studies and will be taught to our children as an example of perseverance.
Some patriotic parents had gone to the bank to withdraw their children's school fees just so they could travel to attend the swearing in. Some had collected their monthly contribution and used it to travel to the Eagles Square. If General Buhari could take a loan to buy form just because he loved this nation so much, no sacrifice is too much for them.
Happy faces littered the square like cow droppings. Military jets flew over the venue paying tributes to the new President. Some of the attendees sang: “O ti mu wa gbagbe o, Ibanuje igba kan…” “O ti se o, baba ti se o…” “Were lo ba wa se, ee e, were lo ba wa se…” “Freedom cometh by struggle…” Total strangers danced together and hugged themselves.
Finally, the new President arrived and the crowd went mad. They danced like possessed people. As the vehicle carrying him came in, he revealed his gap-tooth and waved to his people. On sighting him, one of the women broke down crying, others like her cried too. A lady pulled up her top to reveal firm breasts and screamed, “Buhari, I have no gold or silver, this is all I have, it’s yours.” General Buhari looked in her direction, but Hajjia quickly covered his face. The males around her fixed their eyes on the exposed breasts and salivated.
As General Buhari made his way to his seat, Asiwaju Tinubu followed him, with Professor Osinbajo coming behind holding some things. Asiwaju looked back, addressed Professor Osinbajo: “Ko awon foonu mi yen funmi, ko bo si iwaju.” He obeyed promptly, handed some phones to Asiwaju and took his place behind General Buhari.
The swearing in started: “I, Muhammadu Buhari, do solemnly swear that I will be faithful and bear true allegiance to the Federal Republic of Nigeria and that I will preserve, protect, and defend the constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, so help me God.”
After that, the crowd cheered again as he mounted the podium to address them.
"Fellow Nigerians, what we have just witnessed here is a victory of truth over falsehood. The winners are the Nigerian people. Unemployed graduates will be paid N30,000 beginning from June 1st, 2015. The minimum wage is now N40,000 with effect from June 2015. Within the next few days, you will see drastic steps taken to return our economy to the heights it should be."
The crowd went mad again.
June 1, 2015.
Military trucks packed in front of Asiwaju Tinubu’s house. When he was informed, he laughed and told them it must be General Buhari who sent them to bring him to a dinner hosted in his honour where he will be awarded as the best Political Guru of the Century.
He stepped out and smiled. “At ease, gentlemen. How was your journey?” They didn’t budge. Finally, one of the military men who appeared to be the leader stepped forward.
“Mr Tinubu…”
He cut him short. “Ehn? Ta ni Misita? Ah! O ma baje o! You lack hoomu tireni o. Emi lo la oruko mo lori beeyen.”
The military man addressed him again. “Mr Tinubu, I have a warrant for your arrest. We are to escort you to where you will be expected to answer some questions.”
He laughed. “Tell Buhari I already know about the award jare. He wants to throw me a surprise party abi?”
“Mr Tinubu, behave! Do not let me order my men to bundle you into the vehicle.”
He was shocked. “Hare! O ma n se bii ooto ke? Eedi n di Buhari ni? Ha! Adiye ki ma n je ifun ara won.”
He reluctantly followed them.
At the same time, other sets of soldiers visited Rivers State. As they parked in front of former Governor Rotimi Amaechi’s house, he came out dancing and waving a broom. The military men didn’t waste time; they read out their mission. He was being invited to explain what he did with the NYSC allowances of his state since 2013 and how some amounts disappeared from the account.
He was taken away.
As military trucks parked in front of Obasanjo’s house, I heard a huge slap. Someone slapped me.
I looked around. I was on the floor. Someone was carrying a bucket and pouring water on my head. A celestial church woli was speaking in tongues, flogging me silly and pouring candlewax on my head. Somebody was singing “sekesekesekebula” and spreading turari around the room.
The woli tried to flog me again. I screamed, “Kinni mo se na?” The singing and noisemaking stopped. Someone shouted, “Halleluyah fun Mesaya, o ti ji o. Adura ti gba.”
They proceeded to explain that I had fallen and hit my head and had been ‘out’ for the past two days.
I asked what day it was. They answered, “February 27.”
Ah! Ok.